THE LONG GAME

March 19, 2018

Cough.

“Mic check, 1, 2.”

Right guys, it’s me again.

I’m gonna go right in and say it: I messed up. You may have noticed that my blog went quiet in the latter half of last year, and by “quiet” I mean that I produced no articles at all. There are a few reasons for this, including the fact that I decided to take a step back and focus on myself privately for a while. But also, I’m going to hold my hands up and admit it: guys I thought I was done with weight loss and health talk. Yes, you read that correctly, I thought to myself, “right, now I’ve cracked the whole health and wellbeing thing, I’ll move onto solving the next thing”. World peace? The rise of the alt-right? Cancer?

And off I careered towards the horizon.

The problem is, though (and you’d have thought I was lucid enough to see this beforehand) there isn’t a single fixed “solution” to your health. You don’t just arrive at a point and say “right, I’m fixed, the end”. I was foolish.

And in my complacency, I let life happen (so sue me); work travel, fun travel, parties and general fun ensued, messing with my tight workout schedule and strict diet, and I put on some weight. YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. THE GIRL WHO SOLVED HEALTH PUT ON WEIGHT. The irony, the arrogance. I know, I’m shocked too.

And do you know what I did reader? I was really calm, had a word with myself, and lost the weight again, and all was well.

Lol, just joking, I’m a human too.

I had a freakout of epic proportions and intuitively started being horrible to myself again (which I’m actually pretty good at btw). This eventually eroded my self-confidence and lead me to put on even more weight. Good job, Rose, bravo. All the while dealing out advice to followers on Instagram (and anyone who would listen), keen to know how I’d lost the weight, and helping them to make better decisions in their lives. I know, you couldn’t write this sh*t.

Anyway, as it turns out, this health malarky isn’t something you can just “solve”. No, it’s a long game; an until-death-do-us-part commitment that will fluctuate as life peaks and troughs, swerves and spins. And the only thing you can really control is how you react to these changes of course.

The point is, lads, that relapses happen, and they don’t define us. In fact, the way that we deal with them gives us an opportunity to demonstrate how far we’ve come. And the emotional interaction between weight and worth is a tricky one and it’s not our fault—it requires continuous monitoring, and self-compassion and love by the bucket load. But I am determined to get back on top of it; to be nicer to myself, to look after myself and to feel more in control. And because I want to, I know will—that’s how it works.

So I guess what I’m trying to say chaps is that I AM BACK. I wish I could say it was by popular demand, but it is an ego trip at best. Either way, here I am again, for all the unsolicited advice your heart desires, and if any of you are kind enough to read then I am eternally grateful.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou.